Saturday, January 30, 2010

#32 Horses

Women are sensitive to the wind in their hair. More precisely, they hate the wind because it tangles their hair. Walk outdoors into a windy day with a woman and it's one of the first complaints you'll hear. Try to roll down your car window with a woman in the back seat and you'll soon be asked to close it.

If you're riding in the back seat of a car driven by a woman notice how she keeps her window closed even on a hot day. She's being considerate although you're a guy, don't care about the wind, and might actually like it.

There is one situation, however, where she'll welcome the wind in her hair: riding swiftly on the back a horse.

She's loved horses since she can't remember when and whether or not she's ever ridden one is irrelevant. The idealized image of the beautiful princess atop a sleek horse is ingrained in the minds of women worldwide.

To her a horse is a wild beast that she can tame and then love, much like the image of the ideal man that she carries around in her head. A cynic might go further and say that her attraction for these animals is based on the idea of straddling a huge phallic object with its own brain.

Perhaps, but whatever the reason, shoveling poop and untangling hair are a small price to pay.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

#31 Shopping For Other People

Despite any denials you may hear women love to shop. Shopping for themselves is good, but shopping for others is even better. It satisfies their desire to buy things and to help make someone over while doing no harm to their bank account. If the shopping target wants to come along, all the better. She may get a free lunch.

No matter how ardently a woman may deny her love of retail she'll have no qualms about telling you what great taste she has and how good she'd be at picking out clothes, furniture or whatever for you. Generally, she'll throw in something about how good a bargain-hunter she is as well.

A great and little-known first date is to take a woman shopping. Not for herself. For you.

She'll find it odd at first, but despite any skeptical looks or protests she'll find that she can't resist the idea of helping you to find say, a new dress shirt. Once downtown or at the mall she'll quickly acquire the
shopper's look--an expression of great focus that few other activities (see #30 Untying Knots) can inspire.

Before you've accustomed yourself to the new her she'll have taken charge of the situation and will be lining up shirts on the counter for you to try. As you try them on she'll carefully examine each look as seriously as a supreme court justice considering property law.

Once you buy the one that she recommended she'll have had such a good time she's likely to offer to buy
you lunch. Now you can thank her twice. Look forward to seeing her again.